Comparison is a Thief

Teddy said it, and I have to agree.

It really is. I spent quite a bit of my high school and early college years comparing myself to a lot of people. I didn’t mean to, but it just happened.

Comparison stole from me.

Comparison stole from me the belief that I was enough. Every time I looked at a girl and noticed a perfection in them, I found a flaw in myself. In my eyes, I wasn’t enough. I'd immediately find something in others, be it wealth, clothes, appearance, or success to measured myself against, and I realize now that in doing so, I turned those into an idol. 

Yikes

Sometimes, though, I even found myself comparing in the opposite way. I found flaws in others in order to boost my own confidence.

Yikes, again.

Both ends of the spectrum are unhealthy. Both stole joy from me. There was no joy in the fact that I was made awesome, or, for instance, that my legs were built for being active, and not for walking the runway. There was no joy in being in the company of others. 

Either way, comparison breds contempt. Both opened the door to self-pity, and a self-centered way of thinking.

Comparison stole other things, too. Like opportunities to have healthy friendships. Instead of valuing and cherishing friendships, I had hints of jealousy and envy towards the people I was around.

The truth is, we could all make a list of flaws we all have. We all do it.  Somehow we let the list of flaws and failures become apart of our inner monologue, and we begin to believe it as true.

 I really believe, now, that we don’t have to live this way.  We are made for more than that.

God looks at us and loves us. His heart breaks when we measure ourselves up against unrealistic ideas of perfection. Does God really even care what we look like or how much money we have, or how perfect our hair is, or how stylish our clothes, or how fast I run, or how well I sing? I don’t think so. I think he only cares that we love him, that we let him love us,  and that we use what we have to our fullest potential, thus bringing him glory.

In 1 Samuel, Jesse’s 16 sons were all candidates to be king. To everyone’s surprise, David, the youngest and scrawniest, was chosen. Why? Because God looked into his heart, not to his physical condition, and liked what he saw inside. David’s heart sought the approval of God and God alone. and he went on to do some awesome things. He did some not so awesome things too, but in the end, he knew who he was in God's eyes.

I don’t know why we let comparison steal joy and take over our thoughts.

 So here's what I've found to help me train and reframe my thoughts, and some ideas for you, if you want them:

 Instead of spending your life striving for something better, be kind to yourself. 

Be thankful to the life you have today. Sit and contemplate the wonderful things that are in and around you now. 

Begin to look for ways to bless others, for the pure reason of blessing them. 

I think we need to learn to take our focus off ourselves, and start building self-esteem on the solid foundation of what God says about us.

I think that’s a good place to start.

What about you? Have any thoughts or personal experiences on this issue? Leave a comment below!